Monday, February 13, 2017

"what's the worst possible gift for your significant other on Valentines Day?"

Reddit top comments...

Girl I started dating a couple of months before Valentine's Day just got out of a long term relationship with her high school sweetheart. I didn't know she was still in contact with him when we were dating. She handed me a cute little bag with candy and a card. As I opened the card and read her pouring out her soul to her ex boyfriend about how much she still thinks about him and loves him. Evidently she made two gift bags. One for me and one for the ex and mixed them up.

My girlfriend gave me a pack of cigarettes because I was trying to quit smoking, and she thought it would help me relax.

I bought my wife a microwave for our first Valentine's day back in 2005...she had just moved into her new place and needed a microwave...not sure why everyone didn't see how thoughtful I was being

When asked what my SO wanted one year, she said she wanted a H2O steamer mop. Cost me about £100 and she got flowers, chocolates and a date night on top of it. But of course, whenever telling the story, it has become the time I got her a mop for Valentine's Day.

I saved a patatoe in the freezer that was the perfect shape of a heart. I put it in there in June for February. When I got it out and proudly gave it to my wife it literally turned black and started leaking juices in front of her. In theory it was cute in practice it was like a death threat.

29 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I would very much like for rhhardin to weigh in on this one.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Off Topic:

Hey. Lem...where is your Amazon portal? It was on your site yesterday. I am going to order an expensive item and want to give you the $$$

If you can fix it today, that would be great. I'll keep checking your site.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

A venereal disease outbreak tends to take the romance out of the day...

Lem said...

Thanks for the heads up DBQ. I can check tomorrow morning at the earliest. Right now I'm on my way to PA to work.

Maybe Chip if he sees this can take a look? Chip has administrative privilege.

Lem said...

I can't do much via the phone.

Methadras said...

I tend to be absent minded when it comes to Hallmark days like Valentines Day. I'm not saying I'm not a romantic, but all the times (every day of the year) I would tell my ex-wife that I loved her on a daily basis and on occasion would bring her small shiny objects like a cat didn't mean shit if I forgot the expectations of Valentines Day. One year it totally slipped my mind and when the day was almost over she came to me and asked what the great surprise was while handing me her little goody that she got me. The OH SHIT moment happen and I double face-palmed myself and said that I was sorry I totally forgot. Needless to say you would have thought I committed an act of spousal abuse. Man, she was pissed for a week. Nothing I did would or could assuage her 'hurt' feelings until she popped back back a retort with me during an argument about it to the effect that was, "How could you forget that one day. it would have meant so much." to which I shot back to her "what about the 364 days I tell you how much you mean to me and how much I love you." etc. etc.

Yeah, that shut her up real quick. Then a few hours later after moping around, she would come back, say she was sorry, and I'd say all was forgiven, then we would go out and grab a nice lunch or dinner and move on like nothing ever happened.

Female, she is fickle.

Rabel said...

The Amazon portal is visible and functional for me. Could you possibly have adblocker on for Lem's, DBQ?

edutcher said...

Rabel's probably right (I have Chrome with an ad blocker and I don't see a portal), but it could also be your browser and how long since it's been updated.

On the subject at hand, either a book on how to be a better lover or something equally weird (Ernst Rohm's Guide To Anal Sex SA-style).

AllenS said...

DBQ, if you have ad blocker, or other such things added, you can unblock this site through them. I had the same problem before.

AllenS said...

If anyone is thinking about a purchase, toss some money into Lem's pocket.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I have unblocked your site Lem. It had the amazon widget and ads yesterday but not today....and I haven't changed my settings. I'll try on another computer :-(

ampersand said...

what's the worst possible gift for your significant other on Valentines Day?

Edible undies, especially tuna and liver flavored.

Trooper York said...

I don't know what Rh gave for Valentine's Day but I do know what he got.

A restraining order.

ndspinelli said...

Anal intruder.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

M'kay Figured it out. Kaspersky blocks banners and data collection on sites. I have it set on the highest security. Plus I use an ad blocker which I disabled on Lems. Over 94 instances of data collection/analytics/social networks/web beacons here from mostly double click/google etc just on this site on the main page from this one visit. It is very strict!. You know those Russians...mean people :-)

So...I disabled it for the moment and Ta Dah! the banner came up and I was able to order my item. (350 Chevy GM v-8 crate motor) Hope it went through correctly for Lem. Shield walls....re-engaged!


Worst gift: Romantic dinner with your spouse and your mother in law included as part of the evening.

Michael Haz said...

I'd better get a move on. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day and I haven't bought a gift for my motorcycle.

Leland said...

Chevy 350 engine in a crate, Best Valentine gift ever! I hope it comes in on time DBQ! I see there are Prime options available!

edutcher said...

Kaspersky keeps a lot of people out of trouble.

Whether they want it or not.

Sixty Grit said...

A gift membership on a dating site - best gift or worst - you make the call.

A 350 crate engine might be the best gift ever, especially if it has 4 bolt mains and high flow heads. Hey, a fellow can dream, right?

Michael Haz said...

Injected or carburated?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Carburated. We are transferring the quadrajet four barrel carb and the Edelbrock aluminum intake manifold from the existing old engine onto the new engine. Its going into our 75 Chev utility body service truck. The old engine just basically has given up and is running on 7 cylinders. Probably been rebuilt once already is is the original 1975 engine. It is time to get a new engine. We recently redid the exhaust with Flow Masters and a new paint job.

We have a another small block Chevy 400 that we are going to put into our 68 Rambler station wagon that we are rebuilding. That engine was built up with flat top pistons, thumper roller cam and roller rockers, 750 cfm carb on aluminum high rise. Probably can't use that because it is too high and I don't want to mess with the hood. I want to keep the engine as it is because this is going to be MY car, however Dumbplumber has his doubts about me handling this much engine. He wants to de-tune the eff out of it :-(

Sixty Grit said...

Tell him no, that Rambler sounds like it would make an awesome sleeper, and more horsepower is always a good thing. Right up until it isn't, of course. I say that as someone who owned 5 AMC vehicles from that era - and some of them would flat get up and go. Shit an' git as my neighbor says, using a colorful local phrase.

One thing I miss about California is the opportunity to buy old cars that have not been rusted in half. There are some old cars around here, but nothing like I used to see out there.

Let us know how all the engine swapping turns out - I love those kind of stories.

Michael Haz said...

Restrictor plate Rambler.

Chip Ahoy said...

DBQ, Lem, I just now turned off Ad Block on my little laptop and reloaded this site and I see Amazon portal upper right corner where it should be, in my case, underneath an advertisement for Thursday's Boots, and I must say, very nice boots indeed. And now that I have the dark ones I realize I need to have the light tan ones too.

GOODSTUFF said...

An Unorthodox Valentines Day Thing

http://goodstuffsworld.blogspot.com/2016/02/an-unorthodox-valentines-day-thing.html

This unorthodox Valentines Day public service announcement contains risque chicks plus essential vitamins and minerals

Sixty Grit said...

That's good stuff, I guess. I am not going to click to find out.

windbag said...

I stopped in the florist Saturday to order the flowers for today. We know the owner, and I was chatting with her about various stuff, but I forgot to ask her a question that I've been pondering the past week or so. What does her husband do for her for Valentine's Day? It's her Hell Week, so anything time consuming would likely piss her off and keep her from making money. Flowers? Who would he get them from, a competitor? What if he ignores the day altogether? I mean, he's screwed.

Lem said...

DBQ I sent you an email. Thanks.

Lem said...

I believe the issue you are having with the Amazon portal has to do with either your choice of browser or a ad blocker setting your browser setting your browser might have. Good luck and thanks for your continued support.