Melania Trump's Diary

Yaaaaawwnnnnnnn!!!! Sorry. I had to open my mouth really wide. Donald loves when I do that. Not that I need to do that with him. Unfortunately Little Donald is not all that big. But he likes to put his whole head in my mout.....errrr wait that might be TMI!

No I am yawning because it was five primaries and five wins. Most over 50% and some over 60%. We even kicked butt in Pennsylvania where they said that Cruz had all the delegates picked out and stuff. We won all the states and almost all of the congressional districts. I mean I know you wouldn't think that if you watched FOX news and listened to the porcine fucker Karl Rove tell you how this was actually good for Ted Cruz. No wonder the Bushes loved that guy. He sure knows how to turn chicken shit into chicken salad. I haven't seen a performance like that since Kim Richards was high on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and made chicken salad with her hands and actually mixed shit into it.



Donnie wasn't into the victory speech. He likes new things and he has been giving so many victory speeches that it is kind of getting old. So he threw it to the press for questions. Later Ivanka and I were watching the commentary and some skeletal douche on FOX was complaining that the press wasn't miked properly and they were all squished together and that the Trump campaign had to up their game. Guess what Skeletor. We don't give a shit about the press. We are going to speak right over your pointy little heads to the people. So we are going to make you as uncomfortable as possible.

Donnie had been spending all of his free time on his big foreign policy speech. He is hitting all the points he will campaign on. How we can negotiate with Russia and China and if we don't make a deal then we can walk away. That the Frogs and Limeys and the Krauts and the Japs have to pay for us to protect them or we bring the boys home. That we aren't going into every shit hole  country to remake it because some mama's boy wants to remake these countries into something they can never be. In my country we have a saying. You can't make a turnip into a potato. Some of these rat holes will always be a God awful mess. It ain't our responsibility to remake their country. Not one more American boy is gonna die to protect some Saudi sheiks money.  We don't need their oil anymore. We ain't the Bush crime family. Fuck em.

I hate that I have to spend time with that cow Ivanka. She and Donnie are just too close. I know she loves the "Mama's and Papa's" music. Do you think that means anything? Well we do agree on one thing. We have to keep an eye on that bloody twat Megyn Kelly. Listen we always knew she was a whore ....we were just haggling about the price. The price was a prime time special that will make the next Baba WaWa. Well if she wants to be that she would have to give Everett Dirksen a rusty trombone. Or maybe Harry Reid. Whatever. That is one thing that cow Ivanka and I agree on.

That and that Teddy Cruz is very creepy. Poor Heidi. It is bad enough to go through life with a face like a slapped ass but then your husband confuses the names for a hole. It is a hoop not a ring. But what you do expect. Canadians play hockey.

Anyway it is off to Indiana. We will clean up there. Donnie is going to that Air Conditioner factory that he has been talking about for months. Those guys are all in our corner. We are going to have some great rallies.

I have to get some sleep. People complain when I write in  my diary after 2am.  But them some people complain about everything.