Saturday, January 2, 2016

Snapped

Snapped is cable television show run on Oxygen network narrated by Sharon Martin and I realized by researching the narrator that I've misunderstood the show all along. I've been watching with the wrong attitude and been annoyed with it the whole time. 

Martin's narration drips with sarcasm. She sounds like a teenage mean girl isolating another girl at school. He tone is prosecuting attorney assumes culpability of every movement. 

I wonder each time when I hear her, "Who hired you?" Where tone is so important, why is her tone the one that is bought? Why? Why are they doing this? Come on. Of all the good readers available they pick this sarcastic immature and very mean-sounding woman.

You know, reading aloud is a bit hard to do. You're looking at words well ahead of your mouth and figuring out what tone to express them, and it wears over time, dry lips, throat and the rest. Her tone is consistently pre-teen mean girl sarcastic and incriminating.  

Snapped episodes are popular on YouTube. This is how she sounds.

Okay, just a few seconds of that sample gets on my nerves. Who can stand this? Who would hire this? Why? What is WITH this woman? 

Dude, it's a joke. 

Everyone's in on it and I'm last to discover. It is not sincere. 

I did not realize the shows focus mostly on cases of female murderers. Their victims usually their significant other. Knowing that changes everything. Women viewers are expecting the same type of story each time with differing details. It explains the tone. It really is intended for "can you believe she pulled this crap?" tone throughout. Even when introducing characters, as if people meeting people is planned malevolently.

I ask, what does this woman look like? And I'm answered.


Psych!

Now that's funny! Got me, you bitches. Putting a face to the narrator, Ha! Knocking them out on the red carpet receiving her award for excellence in narration.


I get it now. Cable is funnier than I imagined. This is women being catty as possible and knowing it and reveling in doing it excellently when the facts are all in and the verdicts handed down. The woman is adored for her feminine condemning narration.


3 comments:

ricpic said...

She's zaftig. Other than that I got nothin'.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Not everybody can pull it off like Bill Curtis.

Methadras said...

She's pretty cute in a very appealing way to me. I'm not sure why either.