Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Fear and loathing the IRS

"How I fell face first for an epic IRS scam"
I received a call on my home phone recently from someone who identified himself as Officer Jason Dean with the Investigative Bureau of the Department of Treasury. He said an arrest warrant had been issued in my name for failure to respond to IRS Notice CP503 — a third reminder — informing me that I owed $5,347 in back taxes. He said my home and cell phones were being traced and I should not attempt to leave the city.
"That's ridiculous," I said, "I never received any notices."
"That is not my concern," he replied. "We're only calling you as a courtesy to inform you that you will be arrested and charged with failure to meet federal taxation requirements, malicious conduct, and theft by deception. You will be arrested within the next two hours and held in custody for six months pending an investigation."
And just like that, I was caught in what has become the biggest tax scam in American history.
I called upstairs to my teenage son and told him to call his other mother and tell her to come home. Then I got back on the phone and asked for more details, trying to prove to myself I could dismiss this as a hoax. I asked for the address they had for me. (He had it right.) I asked for the tax year this issue allegedly stemmed from. (2011.) I asked for my Social Security number. (He said he was not permitted to give this over the phone.)
I usually do my own taxes, and I am never completely confident that I get it right. Just a few months ago, I had received notice that I owed about $700 in back taxes for income I'd forgotten to include on my 2013 return. More recently, I filed my 2014 taxes, hoping I'd done them right. But 2011? I couldn't even remember what I'd reported.
But the man on the phone was done talking. He repeated that I must not leave the area, or I would be charged with evading the police. Then he prepared to hang up.
"Wait," I said. "This has to be a mistake. If I owed back taxes, I would pay back taxes."
He paused and asked, "Can you tell me truthfully you have the intention to pay any taxes you owe?"
"Yes, of course," I said.
He said he could transfer me to another unit that might be able to help. But, he warned, they don't have to. (It sounded ridiculous but I wasn't quibbling.) (read the whole thing)

13 comments:

I'm Full of Soup said...

"Other mother" LMAO.

Does that make me a bad person?

bagoh20 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bagoh20 said...

"If anyone should have known better, it was me. I’m a somewhat experienced adult, with more than one degree from an Ivy League university. In my career as a journalist, ..."

Hahahahahahaha. That's the problem. Just about the perfect resume for the most often scammed people in modern America.

Few things scare me as much as the IRS, because they have nearly unlimited powers, and it's the insatiable government animal in pursuit of it's prey, but still I would never have fallen for this.

I get scammed plenty, but almost exclusively by friends and family, who I fully expect to scam me, but hope springs eternal with such things.

bagoh20 said...

This is seriously embarrassing, and I bet he didn't want to tell anyone, but so many around him knew about it, and he's a journalist, so he had to suck it up and write a story about it. Occupational hazard.

Leland said...

Wow, what a sucker. Instead of how he fell for it, someone else should have explained where he could have easily ignored it. First, the person calling him is violating the law if he is warning the person of an impending warrant and trying to help him avoid arrest. Second, no warrant was actually served, and until it is, the person can go anywhere they want. So at that point, he should have hung up.

But, I clicked the link bait for the laugh. So SPOILERS!

Later the scammer calls his cellphone with caller ID 911. Um 911 is a local service, not federal, and they don't call you. Idiot.

AllenS said...

They never call you. They send you a letter.

Methadras said...

"That is not my concern," he replied. "We're only calling you as a courtesy to inform you that you will be arrested and charged with failure to meet federal taxation requirements, malicious conduct, and theft by deception. You will be arrested within the next two hours and held in custody for six months pending an investigation."

You're an idiot because you believed that someone would actually call you, tell you that they are from the IRS and that they are arresting you. Yes, you. They are giving you forwarning of a pending arrest. Of course, unless you pay. Uh, who does that again? You should be embarrassed. That you're a moron.

I warned my wife and my daughter about this scam. Then my wife and daughter a couple of weeks later actually got phone calls. I haven't gotten one yet, but when it first happened to my wife, she called me in a panic. I reminded her that it isn't real, but I could hear the fear and the panic and I reminded her that no federal agency calls people to tell them that they are going to be arrested if you don't pay them. They'll send you a bill asking you for money, but never call you and never call you to tell you that you are going to be arrested. After that she came to her senses. A couple of days later my daughter got the call too, but like a trooper she just basically said, "Bitch, i didn't even make enough money to get a tax bill like that!!!" then my wife got another call with even more threats. This time she just laughed at them on the phone and they just hung up and never called again.

Leland said...

I can understand being upset by the call. Even recognizing it as a scam, it seems these people had too much information. It is disturbing when people you recognize as crooks know where you live.

Still, I think the average HS drop out would have recognized this as a scam. Some, because like Methadras daughter, wouldn't make the money for the IRS to arrest them. Others, because they are smart enough about the law to know, as Methadras states, they won't call, they'll just come and arrest. The Ivy Leaguer should have know why they don't call, but apparently modern J-school only teaches compliance with authority. No wonder most Ivy Leageurs no longer understand the plain language of the first and second amendments.

ampersand said...

It is disturbing when people you recognize as crooks know where you live.
,
Do a google search on your name. Chances are you'll show up with your name, address and phone number. Also names of people you are possibly related too.

My address in Columbus Ohio shows up and I haven't lived there in over 30 years.

Leland said...

Do a google search on your name.

You can also Google other things.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

The IRS does not do phones. All phone calls from "IRS" are a scam. My sister in law was scammed and I must say the scammers are REALLY good. She was frightened out of her wits.

I am owed money for my aunt's estate and the IRS has not paid me (the estate) in over a year.
You cannot call the IRS and ever get a person. again- the IRS don't do phones.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

Sister in law was almost scammed. Thankfully my nephew called my mom and my mom told him to take phone away from A and yell "this is a scam" and hang up. Sister in law was so freaked out she could barely let him do it. But it was done. Only thing the scammer got away with was her e-mail. They wanted more.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

funny - she never did get that e-mail.