Monday, November 30, 2015

Presidential Love Letters: Dick love Pat and Pat love Dick.


Ever since I first saw you at the auditions for the "Dark Towers" I have thought of Thee and your alabaster Irish skin. You consume my thoughts and deeds. I had to take my pen in hand to write to Thee of how I feel in my genteel Quaker heart.


When I think of Thee, Dick Nixon can only imagine Thy perky pink nipples poking out of your small round mounds. I would Thou come to Thy door with nothing on your sweet young body but a good Republican cloth coat. The wispy hairs of purest sandy blond hair on Thy virgin mound is never far from Dick Nixon's thoughts. I yearn for thee but if Thou will not reply than be assured Thou will not have Dick Nixon to kick around anymore.

Please write to me and let me know when I can see Thee. I can not eat my oatmeal for the yearning for your voice and Thy sweet touch on my five o'clock shadow. I will be away for a few days as I am going on a camping trip with a young Cuban boy who is a friend of mine.

But I will call Thee upon my return.

You dearest and most passionate friend,
 Dick Nixon.

4 comments:

Trooper York said...

Thank you.

Trooper York said...

This is part of a new series. Presidential Love Letters.

Trooper York said...

Just wait to you get the ones from James Buchanan and Bill Clinton. Epic I tells ya. Epic.

William said...

Just now I'm reading No Ordinary Time by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It's about the Roosevelts and their domestic life during WWII. Goodwin is somewhat discreet about the details, but it appears that FDR had quite a lively love life despite being wheelchair bound. I think Stephen Hawkings who went to Orgy Island has shown the most grit and determination in this matter, but you have to also respect FDR's efforts in this regard. Work hard, play hard so to speak..... Eleanor also seemed to blossom late in life. Goodwin points out that she had sleepovers with two of the founders of the League of Women Voters. During these sleepovers, the girls would sometimes have pillow fights. The fact that Eleanor Roosevelt had lesbo pillow fights like in the porn movies adds another dimension to her character....I'm sure Pat and Dick tried a few positions and may have even done it with the lights on once or twice, but there can be no doubt that the Roosvelts for all their handicaps of mobility and appearance had a far more lurid sex life.