Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Instant Replay: The Unedited Version

We lost Willie Davis for two games this week. To a concussion. All because of domestic violence.

Not Willie of course. He is a pussycat who wouldn't hurt a fly. He wouldn't lift a finger to his wife. It seems his wife Bertha beat the crap out of him. She brained her with the frying pan that she was making pancakes with yesterday morning. You see Big Bertha only knows how to cook pancakes because that is what she learned from her Auntie. Plus rice which she learned how to cook from her Uncle. I think she called it perverted rice or something but it is pretty good.

Anyway Willie causally asked if they could have something other than rice because he was starting to feel like a Chinaman and that is when Big Bertha brained him with the skillet. So we don't have a defensive end this weekend for the game against the Eagles.

Coach Lombardi has a strict no tolerance policy against domestic violence. He once cut Jerry Norton for beating up his maid. Now Jerry claimed it was an accident because he was practicing his punting and she walked right into his kick. She sort of got kicked in the punt so to speak.

But Coach didn't stand for that. He cut him then and there.
(Instant Replay- The Unedited Edition, Jerry Kramer & Dick Schaap Random House 1968)

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