Parent: “I honestly didn’t think Keira was making that much of of a fuss, so to us, it came out of nowhere. We thought she was joking… It was just too unprofessional for reality,” Carson said. “Also, after waiting so long, I was definitely going to feed my child before going anywhere.”Which side are you on? and Why?
After Neugebauer yelled, that’s when the baby “started bawling at the top of her lungs,” Carson said. “She was really scared. As a parent, that’s a look you never want to see—abject fear,” she said in an interview. “If the owner had a problem with a quietly crying baby, she should have come to us directly, not passive-aggressively toss to-go boxes at us and storm around as if we should know she needed us to leave before she exploded.”
Neugebauer said she had a busy diner to cater to, and said she’s never yelled at a baby before.
“I usually wait 20 or 30 minutes to let the parents get the children under control, and if they don’t, I ask them to leave, or tell them to take it outside,” she said. “But they were just ignoring her, and they ignored the to-go boxes. So, yeah, I snapped.”
Sunday, July 26, 2015
"A kid cries in a restaurant. The owner yells at her. Now what?"
"At a crowded diner on a Saturday morning, a family sits down, orders their food, and waits. The toddler with them begins to cry. She doesn’t stop. What do you do?"
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18 comments:
I'm not surprised Trump was tossed ;)
Yelling at the kid stops nothing.
I'm with the owner. While I am empathetic to children and their distress, sometimes, someone has to drop the hammer on the obliviot parents. So listen folks, this is the ugly side of 'it takes a village' because you will get the crazy aunt that has to drop the discipline when you don't, can't, or won't.
Kid must've been making an unholy racket for the owner to react. Most parents without being told make adjustments in a public place. If that means carrying the kid outside, putting a pacifier in the kid's mouth, asking for a roll for the kid to gnaw on till the meal arrives...so be it. What's not acceptable is making the whole restaurant adjust to your precious wailer.
I was out with family and friends for dinner nearby one night. We had a number of kids with us including one 4 year old boy who was always a bit challenging. We ordered drinks including one person who ordered a shot of tequila. Sitting at the next table was Mario Van Peebles (You may need Google), and a male friend. Before anyone could stop him, the 4 year old abruptly chugged the tequila shot - the whole thing. Not much you can do at that point. We assumed he would be alright, and he soon just turned into a more animated version of himself. He got a little noisy and fidgety, but not really obnoxious to other people there. Nobody saw him drink it except one of the people at our table. Mr.Peebles got noticeably upset with him being a little noisy. He got up in a huff, glaring at us, and left. This was a very casual and loud sports bar type pub/restaurant near the beach with big screen TVs and open doors. I will never forgive that kid or tequila for ruining my chance of a lifetime to shake hands with a big star like Mr. Peebles.
I know what your thinking: I call bullshit on a kid chugging tequila, because it tastes terrible. I know, but I swear it happened, and he didn't even make a face, like I always do. He's 21 now and doesn't drink. He must have just outgrown it.
My second Belgian liked Bailey's Irish Cream and she was aggressively persistent in demanding it, all completely out of character to get at our Bailey's Irish Cream when we refilled our dainty little aperitif glasses she was all gimme some a dat, gimme some, gimme, gimme, gimme,
Go away.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme gimme, she became a total one-track minded dog. Strangely and uncharacteristically disobedient. So I gave her some and she's super intrigued and happy to have her way, what's that? lick, ew! what that? lick ew! what's that? lick ew! what's that? lick ew! over and over by tiny test-licks, each one as if the first lick of intrigue, until the small puddle in her bowl was gone, a tiny amount to begin with and diluted. She walked over to the wall, leaned against the wall and strangely clumsily and using the wall for a walker achingly commanded her four wobbly legs back to fireplace near where we were sitting sliding against the wall the whole way, plunked down, with no fuss situating, looked up at us as if her eyes weighed a ton and imploring, what's happening to me? and calmed right the f down.
Since I don't know how loud the toddler was, I can't say. But these might be things to consider.
First, parents learn to shut out normal kid noises including crying as a defense mechanism. It's how we can get them to the uber cute age of 3 without killing them. So it's possible that the child was much more disruptive than the parents realized.
Second, some people get outraged and totally bent at *any* normal kid noises or wiggling. Adults can made noise or move around, talk loudly or gesture broadly, laugh and be heard at the other side of the room and that's okay, but I've encountered adults who went-off on my kid when she was doing no more than holding onto a rail and *bouncing*, which for her was incredibly wonderful behavior in public.
Third, children don't learn to behave in public in "adult" places except by being taken to those places. McDonald's Play Places are great, but they can't be the only place you go or the kids will think that screaming and jumping in a ball bit is acceptable everywhere.
Parents who treat their children like they are royalty are in for a world of hurt later on when they turn into teenagers.
I think all of that is true, Synova. Without really knowing what went on, we can only guess. Another guess: The waitress is probably used to screaming kids. If it bothered her to that point, my guess is that the screaming kid was over the top.
& to your point about adults speaking inappropriately too loud - yep. I notice.
I have this problem from time to time in my joint. I never address it. Social norms should dictate that the parents be sensitive to their kids' behavior and how it affects those around them. Social norms should also dictate that if someone's behavior bothers you or intrudes on your territory, you should speak up to the violator. As the owner of the establishment, once I take sides, I've lost those customers and any friends and family they tell their tale of woe to (which will be hundreds by the time facebook is done with it). I'm not willing to pulled into the situation as the courtesy police. All too often people are looking for an authority figure to confront the rude and annoying rather than display some backbone and speak up for themselves. Man up or suffer in silence.
I suppose if I was the owner, I'd wait till a customer complained. If it doesn't bother them it wouldn't bother me.
OTOH, 20 minutes of crying is a bit much.
On the corner of my house there is a bar that has been there in various permutations for fifty years. When I was a kid it was a neighborhood bucket of blood called the three fours since it was at 444 Court St. It was an Irish guys old man bar where you could sneak in and get a beer when you were fifteen or so. It was famous for the fights that would break out and spill onto Court St.
Now it is a hipster place called Abilene. They are inundated with kids. They put tables out on the street and you get to see the typical young hipster family. Mom and Dad with ridiculous costumes. Mom covered in tats like a circus freak and Dad with a Giant beard like he was fucking Amish. A squealing piece of shit in a baby carrier and a toddler who wants to run around and scream. Oh and a dog attached to the stroller on a leash.
Now imagine if you wanted to go to this bar and have a couple of pops. I am not talking about lunchtime. I am talking about ten o'clock on a Saturday night. The bar is crawling with kids because their parents don't want to change their lifestyle just because they have demon spawn running around the bar.
Luckily I don't drink anymore so I don't have to deal. My solution would be to just be obnoxious. I can be a lot more obnoxious than some three year old. That is the best thing to do. If other people show no consideration for other patrons then you don't have to show any consideration for them.
I have always maintained that it was a horrible mistake to outlaw smoking in bars and restaurants. There should be a smoking license just like a liqour license. If a restaurant allowed smoking then you would go there if you wanted to smoke. If you hate smoke then you can go somewhere else.
I would do the same thing with kids. You should be allowed to bar children under the age of ten from any restaurant. I bet those places would not lose much custom. Or if they did they would not care because the people who would flock there would make up for it.
You can get, anything you want, at Marcy's Restaurant. Excepting Marcy.
New Yorkers vs. Mainiacs in a contest of manners. Looks like they both lost, so, a win-win.
Our 2 kids never were problems @ restaurants. We had a "restaurant voice" mandate that was strictly enforced. We allowed our kids to always order off the regular menu if they wanted. Going to a restaurant was something they wanted to do and there were simple rules for them to follow.
There are 2 main scenarios w/ unruly kids. The first covers probably 3/4 or more of the problems. SHITTY PARENTS! The other dynamic is tougher. Kids who do not like going to restaurants. They don't want to be there, and even a good parent is going to have a problem. The kid is going to act out. In that situation a parent MUST take the kid out of the restaurant until the kid gets his mind right. If the kid doesn't, you have to leave.
Each of our children behaved this way once in a restaurant. It was only once because we promptly removed them. They sat in the car with one of us while the rest of the family enjoyed the restaurant meal. I have four kids and not one of them ever pulled that stunt a second time.
The restaurants I go to never have children. They know not to eat at these places.
We have way too many restaurants in Cambridge in which Troop describes. Bearded men, with tatted wife, and horrible children. I can't deal with the screaming.
tits.
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