Monday, June 1, 2015

end of the world


Relevant to nothing. I guess I have a thing about the animals that take up in a field as it grows and their universe destroyed at harvest. I thought it through for a pop-up card to tell that story in a few pages with the last page all the homes destroyed, nests, webs and such with the back of a tractor or combine driving off in the distance drawn as background. A depressing card. 

I'm clearing out files and found this. 

6 comments:

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

The the sun came out in Texas yesterday. As we were drying out, I got sgoofy.

I did something I have been dying to do for a long time now. Something so juvenile, silly, and asinine that I got to spend the rest of the day laughing!!

The set up:

I had to go up to Home Depot to get something to stake my tomato plants with. Believe it or not, apartment dwelling women don't often have large sticks hanging around and the chopsticks I have been using were not that effective.

Anyway, going down the aisle in the garden department, I saw him. And he was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

Somewhere in his 20s, all alone, and just standing looking at some clay pots. By himself, so I wouldn't embarrass him in front of anyone. Best of all, and this is why he was sooooo perfect, he was dressed head to toe in camouflage.

It was beautiful camouflage too.
Branches and leaves and every color of green and brown you could ever imagine. Pant, shirt and a cap.

So I did it:

Strolled down the aisle, hips swaying, swinging my tomato stakes in one hand, looking straight ahead directly at his profile. I couldn't keep the smile off my face, but he wasn't looking at me.

And I walked right into him!

Startled, he turned to me looking almost angry. So I looked up, directly into his eyes, and I kinda growled real low,

"Dayum. Good cammo!"

The look on that guy's face was priceless. Total astonishment like he couldn't believe I said that. Then this huge grin breaks out. And I walked away to pay for my stakes.

I hope I made his day, he sure made mine.

God, I love life!

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

If you are interested in buying some Cammo please be sure to use our Amazon portal. Thanks in advance

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

LOL

Dad Bones said...

Texas is where you find hot tomatoes.

Chip Ahoy said...

Annie, I'm glad you said Home Depot and I'm glad you said the gardening center. I've been spending a lot of time there. Three trips so far this season and it's a total drag to get to due to highway construction. Each time I have a blast. Each time I find it very easy to talk to people directly, as you did, like a plant-retard. Just start talking about anything at all plant-related. Over and over and over.

Just yesterday I filled the truck again and got everything planted. It was a very simple trip. I thought: I need purple annuals that take sun, and white, to plug the spots the pigeons tore up. And I must supplement the slow growing shade things with actual plants, so, dark red coleus, bright green hosta, something that trails, and anything with a variant foliage, three herbs, one more vegetable, look for started eggplant. I got all those exactly and met interesting women eager and willing to talk about gardens and plants and plans. It's fun. And they have very good prices.

My terrace presently looks like the start of a Nebuchadnezzar prototype. There are large pots with vegetative spear heads poking out of the dirt promising something spectacular with others below and behind them not quite breaking the surface, but they look like pots of dirt. I still have room to fill in. It's a matter of choosing my color and texture.

It is the exact same impulse as, "Oh man, I got to go to Meininger's and get some more red acrylic paint. And I'll get an olive green mat board while there, and a pen that writes like a brush. And have a plan for that red and for that olive green. The urgency matches. Sufficiently urgent to motivate me to start up the truck and take on the gnarled traffic in that specific spot at Home Depot. It's almost as if planners purposefully intended to jack with Home Depot. Just relax and deal with it, then once there it turns out to be a lot of fun.

Even to the last moment of checkout, the woman is interested in what is intended. "Oh this large leaf dark red thing goes next to this tall broad lime green thing with this in front of it and this too all crammed into one big pot and you'd never expect a chile plant to be in there."

"All that in one pot?"

"Yeah. This shoots up, and these broaden out, and this trails down. All crammed in there, in mostly shade."

So now that's done and well started I'm still seeing holes to plug and still thinking what colors and textures to fill them.

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

More pictures Chip. I'm dying to see!