I asked the Lurch guy in the bottle shop downstairs what is the best gin.
"I don't know. I don't drink that stuff. I hate it. Can't stand the smell of it."
I said my friend told me he orders only one kind, an exclusive kind so pure it does not give you a headache. But maybe it was vodka. So then what is the best vodka?
"1400."
Fast answer. That made me think of tequila for some reason. It threw me off. I hadn't heard of it.
"It's made up there *waves * in Colorado."
"Are you recommending this because it's made in Colorado?"
"No. It's the best. I'm serious."
He went into salesman mode and this is strange, he is a take it or leave it kind of Lurch, honestly, he is way out of character to come around from behind the counter and escort me down the aisle to what turns out to be 14 not 1400, and made in Boulder not up there at elevation. He instructed me not to drink a whole shot. That is wasteful. 14 is not the vodka to do that. No, this vodka is to be savored. Tiny sips, and I will find as it slides down my throat, he points to his own throat, that it settles to sweetness in there.
He did that twice.
"Fine. I'll try it. And only enough to weth my whithle."
"Yes. Weth your whithle. Ha ha."
"And if it turns out gross, to erase it I'll have a regular sip of Amaretto."
"Ha!"
I drank one teaspoon of this in three increments as if applying lip balm. Allowed it permeate everything by its alcohol vapors and slide down by regular swallowing. It did do what he said. I suppose for vodka it is very good. But come on, so what, that stuff can catch fire. It is like kerosene except smoother and tastes better. I don't know I never drank kerosene. Honestly you do not want to drink something that catches on fire like that. Fire water. Come on.
Whoever invented distilling alcohol and drinking it was out of their mind.
Up until then you had beer and wine, enough damage right there even with a built-in level of control, but after distilling all bets are off.
Contrarily, oil catches fire and you eat that. Sugar catches fire and you eat that. There goes my whole catches fire objection. The thing is, this is refined to fuel. But then so is bread. I'm down to my last objection. My cells tell me do not ingest this concentrated alcohol. It is not me objecting, because I agree, and not my mind saying "no" because my mind says, "yes," it is my cells screaming do not drink that as soon as they are hit with permeating alcohol vapor.
I want it around for friends to try. The novelty of Boulder, and see what others think.
They won awards.
They're socially responsible.
Started in 2005, but look at all this community stuff they do. It is a long list.
I have no ideas for vodka-related drinks, and if I did, this would not be the vodka to mix.
30 comments:
Hilarious. I keep to wine, though a bit of Irish Whiskey can be nice. Tobacco and marijuana leaves burn, too; another fuel taken internally.
303 vodka is my favorite. So smooth its dangerous. I'll have to compare
Whiskey is good. The only point of Vodka is to get drunk quick.
Vodka is the Sprite of the hard liquor world.
In the vodka world Vodka Gimlets are the only way to go for me. Strangely, for such a simple drink it is very hard to make correctly. Too much vodka and it is too harsh, too little and it is too sweet. The Goldielocks formula applies with a vengeance here.
Forgive, April A., but that right there... "So smooth its dangerous." is dangerous to certain unrepentant souls.
For no hangovers, SKYY works, and well.
I would like to sample this "14" though. Even though the 'socially responsible' and 'community stuff' sorta harshes my mellow.
Stoli is my favorite vodka. A bottle is kept in the freezer, small amount poured into a glass, a bit of lemon peel added. Sip slowly.
About it.
"Stolichnaya (Russian: Столи́чная, also known as Stoli) is a vodka made of wheat and rye grain. A well-known Soviet brand, Stolichnaya for international distribution is bottled in Latvia using Latvian water but alcohol from a distillery in Tambov by a company chartered in Luxembourg but founded by a Russian which distributes a wide variety of Russian spirits, having purchased a number of former Soviet brands and operations.
Fermentation of Stolichnaya starts with wheat and rye grains and artesian water from the Russian city of Samara and the Kaliningrad region.[citation needed] The fermentation takes about 60 hours. Once fermentation is complete the resulting liquid is distilled four times to a strength of 96.4% ABV. This spirit is then diluted to bottling strength with more artesinal well water. It is then filtered through quartz, sand, activated charcoal, and finally through woven cloth."
Those flavored vodkas are Satan's way of attracting 21 year old women, by the way.
Once you go Chivas you don't go back. Chivas Regal. It's s-m-o-o-o-t-h.
All mass made vodka is wretched.
I prefer small boutique alcohols made in small batches. The best rum doesn't come from the store.
If I could send all of you a bottle of 303, I would. First tho must try 14 to compare.
Sorry, wrongo April, the best rum is a Haitian one, "Rhume" Barbancourt. I prefer the 5-Star myself. Try it and you'll see what I mean... TRUST ME kiddo..
(besides, you get the satisfaction of rehabilitating the Haitian economy :) )
The inspiration for good rum starts somewhere. I'll give it a try, v. Thanks
Honestly, I'm a light and finicky drinker
I don't drink enough to have discovered the purpose of drinking stuff that tastes like turpentine.
We did get some tequila this Christmas... a multiple bottle box of... darn it, forgot. Figured that at Costco prices it wasn't much more than if we bought a single bottle of the "gold" at the grocery store. Gave the "gold" bottle to his boss and kept the two "silver." I tried the silver... sipping about a shot glass worth. It wasn't so bad. Made me wonder what the gold was like. I think there was a really expensive (a few hundred dollars) bottle of the same brand there...
... certainly *that* wouldn't taste like paint thinner. Would it?
I cannot stand tequila. I know, I should feel shamed and run out of town on a rail. I have yet to taste a tequila that makes me happy
I've just finished watching Broken (2012)
It's very good.
I watched the entire season 2 of House of Cards.
FU is now president.
His wife and him had a three way with their secret service guy.
The call girl went lez and killed FU's chief of staff.
Orange is the New Black and The Bates Motel are really great too.
Vodka is high in ethanol which smells nothing like turpentine or paint thinner. I have an extensive chemical memory and could easily distinguish and identify the smells of mineral spirits, acetone, turpentine (terpenes), naphthas, ketones, dimethylformamide, ethers, esters, and higher aliphatic and aromatic alcohols. I've never actually tasted those solvents, but I'm certain they would be distinct.
Our bodies have a special enzyme called alcohol dehydrogenase which metabolizes booze if not overwhelmed. Take advantage of this and drink responsibly.
Everything else waits in line to be either excreted or metabolized by more general-duty enzymes.
Okay, Lem's needs more enzymes and a sampling bar. Noted.
I asked the Lurch guy in the bottle shop downstairs what is the best gin.
"I don't know. I don't drink that stuff. I hate it. Can't stand the smell of it."
Almost a sure sign that he had a bad experience with it early on -- perhaps imbibing too much of it if you know what I mean. I'm that way about brandy.
Also, I hate absinthe which I first tasted under adult supervision when I was about 9 or 10. Wretched stuff.
303vodka.com
Recipes. Tomato potato is delicious.
I'm that way about brandy.
Cheap brandy. Cognac is fine.
It's been awhile since I've seen anything written by Pastafarian. Anyone heard from him? I hope he's ok.
It's been awhile since I've seen anything written by Pastafarian. Anyone heard from him? I hope he's ok.
He's probably hanging out with bissage somewhere.
Deborah is radio silent too. So is Darcy.
I note that Pasta, Freeman, Paddy O all left behind unposted drafts. Only Lem could delete or post them though.
"all left behind unposted drafts"
Suddenly they went Galt. More power to them.
Suddenly they went Galt. More power to them.
Fight The Glower!
I dunno, I'm just not that fond of vodka. I keep a bottle of Tito's in the fridge with some triple sec, but I can go six months without tapping either.
That alcohol enzyme applies mostly to men. Most women and American Indians don't have it.
"left behind unposted drafts."
I had such great intentions! And even though I volunteered to step aside, the actual stepping, if I remember right, caught me by surprise.
To keep my comment relevant to the post.
I have a genetic love for all alcohol, though Tequila stretches this. I like the really good stuff but nothing less than that and don't like anything mixed with Tequila.
Anything else I've liked from the first sip. I say it's genetic because I didn't drink until after I was 21 and my like started right off. Maybe the lack of bad experiences. Maybe 21 is a good age for tastebuds. Maybe it's the genetic blend of Swedish, German, and British. I don't know.
I got into absinthe a few years ago. Brother bought me a bottle of Mata Hari. Real stuff, wormwood and whatnot. Was in Prague a couple years ago, now there's an absinthe haven. Absinthe storefronts dazzle the eyes.
The key to a good gimlet is to avoid vodka altogether and use gin. Wide range of acceptable mixes with the lime juice depending on how much of a punch you want. My go to is Bombay Sapphire, but that's more out of habit.
The trouble with not having a refined or particular palette is that in liking just about anything, I'm happy with what I'm served. Though, generally these days I prefer a good stout beer. Murphys is my favorite.
I like Vodka Martinis, but I strongly disagree with those who want their Vodka ultra-smooth. It's that little bit of bite that I like about Vodka!
So I've tried Ketel One and Grey Goose, and some other boutique Vodkas that aren't coming to mind at the moment, but I go back to Stoli. I used to drink Absolut, but some of their marketing decisions led me to stop buying their product. I like that little kick.
At home, I have some Buckeye Vodka -- distilled in Ohio! -- but I don't like it as well as Stoli. I also like Tito's, which is very economical.
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