I am the mother of three small children. When the oldest was 2, we arrived at a relative’s house for a planned visit, and found a shotgun propped against the dining room wall and an open box of ammunition nearby. Fortunately, I was one step behind my curious son. But the incident caused a big fight; our relatives were offended that we asked them to lock up the gun during our visit. Since then, I’ve been proactive about guns in houses my children visit. But asking, “Do you have a gun in the house?” seems intrusive and somehow accusatory. How should I approach this?Answer...
Amanda, Fayetteville, Ark.
Talk about prying it from their “cold, dead hands”! You may already have met the only adults in America who think that leaving rifles and live ammo where toddlers play is a good idea. Still, you have every right to confirm your children’s safety. Why not just say: “We had a scary play date recently with folks who left a gun lying around. We weren’t comfortable with that. Are you?” And then you’ll know. (But given your recent luck, you may as well scope out the playroom for “Hunger Games” crossbows when you drop your darlings off.)Do you see what this guy did there? Any comments?
NYT A version of this article appears in print on February 23, 2014, on page ST10 of the New York edition with the headline: No, Not So Smart.
24 comments:
Do you see what this guy did there? Any comments?
Yes. He exposed a concerned parent who was masquerading as a gun control nut.
Well played, I thought.
Hey, Bill bit and choked the women he victimized, we never heard about him shooting any.
But back to the subject at hand - what kind of idiot thinks it's okay to leave a firearm where a child (for government purposes, anyone younger than 27) can get it? That is world class stupid.
And, as the great Texan Ron White stated, "You can't fix stupid!"
A ruler across the knuckles of that nosey child should be all that it takes to adjust the child's attitude.
Lessons that I learned in K, 1st and 2nd grade.
Well, how silly. I grew up with guns all over the place - glove box, closets, behind the parents bedroom door.... Uncle even packed his own shells in his kitchen. That did cause a bit of a problem the day a cooking fire started. But hey, they got a brand new house.
Guess we've moved with the times. All the guns are locked away now, but that's only because Sister found a loaded and cocked gun in Mama's lingerie drawer and Mama doesn't recognize her great grandsons these days.
Of course a gun should never be left out like that around children, but think of all the dangerous things we don't lock up. Does anyone lock up the keys to the car or the butcher knives?
When I was kid, the guns and ammo were routinely out and were never locked up. I always had access to those guns and ammo even when they were put away., and I never shot anyone. This was typical of homes there and then, and yet I don't recall any horror stories. Has our species become just dumber?
I have more steak knives than guns.
I don't care, I keep all my knives loaded.
Times have changed.
All I know is that I don't want my children or grandchild to pick up a loaded firearm without some training and understanding of the destructive power that a gun has.
So, to that end, if I had any firearms I would put them out of reach of any child in my house.
I rarely let them handle a running chainsaw, either.
Knives? Get stabby, kids - have a ball.
Of course a gun should never be left out like that around children, but think of all the dangerous things we don't lock up.
Agreed. Guns should not be left around within the reach of children. BUT..children should also be taught not to touch things that don't belong to them including guns, but really all things. Keep your sticky fingers off of things and play with the toys you have brought. She DID say it was a planned visit, so the relatives should have had time to put the guns up and away. IF she had just dropped in, then the access to guns is HER fault not the relatives. It's their house.
We do have all kinds of dangerous things in our houses. When I was a young parent, I was always trying to keep those things away from prying child fingers. Knitting needles, sewing pins, needles, dressmakers shears, rotary cutters, paint, linseed oil, turpentine, kitchen knives, glassware on low shelves, chemicals in the kitchen and bathroom, medications and vitamins. Not to mention the guns being in a location not easily accessible to my child...>BUT accessible to adults. There is absolutely no point to having a gun that you cannot get in an instant, should you need it. And having an UNLOADED gun is even worse.
While I childproofed MY house, I certainly didn't expect the rest of the world to do so for my convenience. When visiting, I would go around and put up the breakable items if it was acceptable. Otherwise, just follow your kid around and watch like a hawk.
If this lady doesn't like guns being accessible, she might try saying something sensible like: My 2 year old isn't old enough to understand about gun safety just yet. So if you do have guns, for everyone's safety, perhaps we can put the rifle or shotgun up out of reach for the duration of our visit.
I call bullshit on the story. 100% huge magnificent gigantic bullshit plus 1000. Period. It is a imaginary set up. The author of the article is a lying piece of shit who can't find real issues so he/she/it invents them.
No one who has any real experience around people and guns thinks like this...except those who have no experience who invent shit and say it. Think your average Tarantino movie...101% nonsense plus 101% bullshit.
This story, as posed, is about 1,560% bullshit...and that is generous.
Jesus this topic pisses me off...I have introduced three people to firearms and their use in the past 60 days and each and every one is someone who has an executive level position, like Vice President opr higher, in a Fortune 500 companies (make that Fortune 100 really). Teaching those with no bad prior habits and no distorted perceptions (vis a vis shit like this story) is great...they learn fast and never will they ever fit this stereotype portrayed in the story.
Thisishilarious,noit'snot.
Why my big scary military uniform-wearing-with-stuff-all-over-it discipline-having all the time Daddy was always so fearful.
Every little thing was be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful be careful all the time, it was maddening. You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers! You'll cut your fingers!
*counts*
Still have all fingers. Whew.
And that was without ever having a b.b. gun because uncle Jim had his eye put out by one.
Uncle Jim died as a teenage in a car accident near their house in Bethlehem.
Apparently, Uncle Jim was a dummkopf and because of his accidents his older brother, my dad learned to be exceeding careful.
Couldn't have a motorcycle.
So I couldn't have a bow and arrow either. All knives suspect. The worst knife-owning household ever. You cannot find a good knife in my parents home. Too dangerous. The sharper, the more dangerous. The larger, the more dangerous.
Only one pair of scissors in the whole house. Forever. So it was always ... you see what coming ....
Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors? Where's the scissors?
I live a life of maddening repetition.
Based on children being exceedingly careful.
I said, "If I listened to you I'd be thinking of nothing except being careful 100% of the time. I'd be deadlocked in being careful."
And Mum looked right at me like, well DUH!
Actually, the piece lost me at the clanging railroad signal shibboleth: "proactive"
Ha! and now my comment will not post because I turned off JAVA for some jackasseryed up website.
Sort of interesting... certainly interesting that the columnist said that there was probably only one person in the nation that thought that leaving a gun where kids could get it was okay.
And then framed the test question in a way that *of course* anyone who does have guns in the house would agree that they aren't comfortable leaving guns where toddlers can get them.
But the (supposed) letter itself... yeah, the gun might have been left there when they arrived but it makes it sound like they insisted to just leave it right there where kids could get it, but actually says they refused to "lock it up"... putting it up high on a gun rack or something or putting it away otherwise would have technically met the description so long as the parent was unsatisfied with how many locks were on it.
I agree with Ari. This story sounds fictionalized and politicized, based on visual imagery drawn from TV and movies. Like, don't them gun nuts usually just leave their shotguns lying around any old place (propped against the dining room wall)? with open boxes of ammo handy by in case a bad guy comes skipping by? Or that asshole relative from Fayetteville?
(Also, as always, consider the source.) Also, did she think the 2 year old was going to load a shotgun? Seriously? I guess just being in the vicinity of the dreaded weapon sent chills.
The dining room is the kids play room? And it wasn't a play date, but a visit with relatives. I don't know if the original story was real or not, but the answer was completely contrived.
I too would take issue if someone left a gun and ammunition sitting out in a child's room while they play. But if a person is preparing for sporting clays and working in the dining room, I would expect them to tell their kids to play in their rooms or outside. Hell, even if they weren't working with guns, I'd expect an adult to tell their kids to play in their room or outside.
By the way, in my Grandparent's home, the shotguns were arranged in an open display case within arms reach of my grandfather's favorite chair. Ammunition was stored in the cabinet directly beneath. The butt of the weapons hit the bottom of the display case about where my knee came up when standing as a child. It was never an issue. Just like my parents leaving the keys to their car sitting around, I was taught that some things were their's and other things mine, and I got to keep my things when I left their things alone. It worked so well, I didn't drink the easy to access alcohol or take their prescription drugs either. So there's my answer to the original question.
The ammo that was left out probably wasn't even the shotgun ammo.
I would imagine that anyone that cared about their guns wouldn't want a 2 year old touching it.
So yeah, I think I call BS too.
I missed the part about demanding that the gun be "locked up". Put up, sure. Out of the reach of the kid. But to demand that they lock up their guns because you can't control your kid(s)......nope. It is their house.
Barring your brat going out of their way to get their sticky fingers on the gun there is no danger. The weapon isn't going to leap off the shelf and attack you. An open box of ammunition isn't going to spontaneously combust either.
Next time she "planned" a visit....I would plan to be unavailable.
Everyone knows that guns are wild animals and just start shooting for no reason all the time.
It's like how one time, when I was a kid, I was attacked by our dishwasher. Swallowed me like Jonah.
It mighta been my big brother who did it, but you can never be too safe, so now I make the neighbors lock their dishwasher up when my kids are over.
Swallowed up by the dishwasher, huh?
My brother and sister preferred to put me in the dryer.
I know it does not make any real difference, but it pisses me off that someone giving advice about guns doesn't know the difference between a rifle and a shotgun.
Bet she doesn't ask about swimming pools, which kill Lloyd more kids than find.
Chip, your dad being a pilot, and I'm guessing jet, would definitely play into stress/control issues.
At our house we ran pretty wild. One Christmas Eve I was cutting a piece of electricians' tape with a long, dull kitchen knife, the blade pointing toward my face. Well, it cut, and the blade landed on the bones above and below my right eye. No cuts, I don't think, no scars.
On the other hand, once at my cousins' friend's house, I was invited to ride a mini-bike. I got on it, it was running, but I was to afraid to let it go, so I got off.
But my sisters and I climbed trees, explored the woods, and sawed and nailed stuff, now and then. I caught snakes, spray-painted in the basement, lol something I'd never dream of letting my kids do...fumes!
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