Thursday, February 27, 2014

Chester draws

Chester really does draw, or you draw Chester.  How to Draw the Life And Times of Chester Arthur (Kid's Guide to Drawing the Presidents of the United States of America). Don't bother, it's just that it really is there. Chester draws.

"Where are the scissors?"

"In the chest a draws."

I know what is meant, chest of drawers. I figured that out a long time ago.

For the life of me I cannot say that phrase. My mouth will not say it. Cannot say it. Sometimes I do need to say it so when I get to that part I slip into Boston accent "chesta draws" and revert to normal which never fails to have unintended comical effect and provoke laughter I do not intend and I cannot help it, in regular speech the word "drawers" cannot be spoken. My jaw juts out for the "dr" open for the "aw" and inward for pushing "er over the open-mouth "aw" still being vocalized. It's a mess. Like pushing food out of my mouth and sounding like a growling retarded hillbilly with a mouth full of slop." I' really would prefer to act out pulling open a long drawer with two hands, than to vocalize the word. The word "drawer" cannot be spoken. So I don't. I say Chesta draws instead.

And I still conjure some random "Chester" whenever someone else says it, and everybody says it that way too. You probably say, "Chester draws." And I'm left to imagine Chester, no wait, some cabinet. Either way, saying or hearing, it gets me every time.

This search with quotes produces wooden cabinets and various objects: ["chester draws"]
This search with quotes produces more clearly mostly cabinets ["chester drawers']

Is there a city named Chester famed for its cabinetry?
Chester England
Penn
Conn
New Jersey
New Hampshire
Vermont

cabinet? no bureau? no wood? no carpentry? no.

No mention of dressers, although the unique architectural style of the buildings in Chester England have second floors that extend beyond the fist above the sidewalks, and third stories that extend beyond the second giving the appearance on both sides of the street of dressers with drawers pulled out, or at least not fully pushed in, an observation, not a theory.

[chest of drawers] There you go. Clarity reigns supreme. Everybody knows it means a bosom full of illustrators.  Kidding.

This phrase gets me every time to this day. I cannot say it right nor hear it right. It will be one of those things with no resolution. It will be Boston accent for "chesta draws" for the rest of my life.

Please, I'm asking make me feel better about this shortcoming and relate one or two examples that are worse. Avoid using "Korea" as example, England already claimed affliction with that disability.

7 comments:

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

Nucular... Since it became a meme, I can't pronounce nuclear correctly any longer.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I have draws confused with pants/underpants...

When I've heard people say, "pull up your draws son"... not to me, I don't wear my pants that way, I skipped that generation.

Are drawers/draws both pants and underpants?

Maybe draws/drawers are meant to represent both pants and underpants.

Unknown said...

Amphitheater makes me stumble. I often want to cram an L in there. Why? I'm mildly retarded.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I guess drawers is meant to represent both pants and underpants.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Could the plural drawers mean two legs?

In Spanish we say "los pantalones" referring to one pantalon.

Unknown said...

Paah the khaa

is Bostonian... Am I saying "park the car" or "spank the cat"? haha You'll never know.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Not directly unrelated... or not directly related or just barely related...

I don't know if you guys caught this one the day.

Meerkat - Mircat

I didn't see it on Sesame St. Honest.