Monday, January 27, 2014

“It’s tea, not coffee, you know.”

“My dress, my dress, my dress, my dress!” she repeated, grabbing on to the ends of her expensive-looking, body-hugging white dress. A thick, brownish liquid formed an egg-shaped stain, dripping off the end of the cloth. A pool formed there, the liquid encompassing her white high-heeled shoes, staining them likewise. Next to her stood a tall man, unmoving man, holding a tilted cup, empty but still dripping with the last of his beverage.
Then, the woman turned into a tornado of fury and brown stain.

“WHY THE [expletive deleted] WEREN’T YOU CAREFUL WITH YOUR [expletive deleted] COFFEE? THIS IS A [expletive deleted] TRAIN! YOU KNOW TO HOLD IT BETTER THAN THAT! I HAVE A [expletive deleted] INTERVIEW, YOU [expletive deleted] KNOW!” she wails.

As the brakes started to squeal and the train entered 79th Street, the tall man smugly motioned to get off the train.
A Spilled Cup on the No. 1 Train

12 comments:

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

In my version of the story, what happens next is some chivalrous gentleman blasts the tea-spiller's brains out and then the dress lady repays the kindness with a blow job.

Amartel said...

Oaf v. harridan. Everyone loses.

Icepick said...

Trooper has hacked Eric's brain.

rcocean said...

And that Tall Man was the Mayor.

And now you know the rest of the story.

rcocean said...

Wait isn't this some kind of sexual metaphor?

Folgers - good to the last drop.

KCFleming said...

People!

They're the worst.

Trooper York said...

Well that is why you can get a summons for eating and drinking on the subway.

Now I bet this bitch drinks coffee on the train all the time and thinks nothing of it.

Karma baby.

Trooper York said...

I got a summons for eating on the train once.

Ok it was an entire pizza but I only got the ticket because it was a midget lesbian cop and I was a dead ringer for her Sargent who made her ride the A train at
2 o'clock in the morning.

Trooper York said...

It was the eighties.

Wadddayagonnado?

Icepick said...

I got a summons for eating on the train once.

Ok it was an entire ....


That story came to a disappointingly prosaic ending.

Icepick said...

It finally hit me, the thing that was bothering me. Who wears a white dress to an interview? And body hugging? What was she interviewing for?

Trooper York said...

Intern for Eliot Spitzer.