Thursday, August 29, 2013

Technium news: cuddle enhancing mattress

 
Mehdi Mojtabavi just wants to cuddle. But his arm would start to fall asleep, and he'd have to roll over. So Mojtabavi came up with theCuddle Mattress, which allows you to slip your arm down into the mattress and around your partner. (Watch the demo video.)   
Essentially the Cuddle Mattress divides the upper and lower portions of the bed into a series of slats. Side sleepers can wedge their arm — or stomach sleepers can wedge their feet — in between these slats. Each slat has a firm and a soft side, which you can flip depending on your sleeping preference. The slats come in three different materials: latex, polyurethane or polyurethane memory foam. The mattress also comes with its own stretchable, fitted sheets.
How convenient.

NPR


35 comments:

AllenS said...

Why not support her from cables attached to the ceiling?

rhhardin said...

That's known as the extra arm problem.

rhhardin said...

Dogs get around the extra arm problem by being small, when there's a heat problem in the winter.

virgil xenophon said...

This solves the problem of cheating on one's spouse. Just get the arm from a Dept store dummy, slip it in the slot and under the body of one's sleeping partner and tip-toe out of the house and into the arms of one's lover. Problem solved..

ndspinelli said...

AllenS, LOL.

ndspinelli said...

I wonder if the salesperson pitches this to the husband or wife????

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I cried because I could not cuddle, until I met a man who had no arms.

edutcher said...

Divorce lawyers hate it.

What more reason do you need?

Synova said...

Heh... and to go with it someone needs to invent the shoulder-pillow. Because if there is a comfortable-for-your-head spot on his shoulder I haven't found it.

Maybe I just give up too soon because of the "ugh, skin sticks to skin" night-time touching issue.

(I believe in an abstract way that there are people in the world who like to sleep all tangled up, but it's one of those things that I take on faith alone because, ugh... people are lumpy and hot and sleeping on lumpy and hot instead of smooth and soft just makes soooo much sense. And then someone will write to one of those relationship advice pages that Instapundit links to and cry that "he doesn't want to touch me while we sleep so he must not really love me." Bodies are nice for warming up when you're cold, but how often are we cold anymore?)

yashu said...

ugh... people are lumpy and hot and sleeping on lumpy and hot instead of smooth and soft just makes soooo much sense

And sticky, don't forget sticky.

That's one great advantage of cats or dogs (as opposed to humans) snuggling up against you for hours. Soft dry un-sticky fur.

yashu said...

My stupid mistake, you didn't forget sticky, you led with it. In other words, I agree with you.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I once had a girlfriend fall asleep on me and I couldn't sleep at all because she cut off the circulation in my arm and it hurt like hell.

After a couple of hours she awoke naturally and I was able to extricate myself.

She said I should have just woke her up at the beginning.

Well, that thought had occurred to me, but all the while I was banging her, I was thinking about razor blades and staples and nails and cheese graters and other assorted orgasm-delaying things like that so a little pins and needles didn't seem all that bad, at first.

Revenant said...

As someone who sleeps on his side I have to say I'm intrigued by this invention.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

You know what.... I love my husband and I know that he loves me. We do occasionally cuddle while in bed and very often on the couch while watching a movie.. But most of the time it is too hot, too uncomfortable and restricting for both of us. It's bad enough that we have cats plastered to our bodies at night so that you can't roll over, stretch out your legs, can barely move. The last thing we both need or want is to be in a stranglehold half nelson in the middle of the night and have someone snoring in your ear.

I love ya honey, but 'get offa me'! I'm trying to sleep here.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

There is nothing like waking up in the arms of your lover, unless he has a grimace of pain on his face. Dumbass, why wouldn't he gently move his arm from under her? She's not a baby and won't cry all night if woken.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

AllenS is on Crowdsource Solutions mode.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

Cuddling must be a new thing.

How will evolution deal with it.

Discuss.

deborah said...

I wager it's an old thing from when cave people would huddle together for warmth.

One problem I see with this new mattress is that the tempurpedic edition, if not all of them, will hold in too much heat.

AllenS said...

If your wife was in some sort of sling, which would be connected to cables from the ceiling, and you had an electric winch set-up, you could raise and lower her at will. So, if you arm went to sleep, just push the up button on the control device, and up she'd go. Then, you could get in a more comfortable position, then lower her back down.

In fact, enterprising couples could think of sexual positions that aren't spelling out in Kama Sutra book using the sling-cable apparatus.

I wonder if I could get Christie Brinkley to try and sell my idea like she's doing with Chuck Norris' workout contraption?

AllenS said...

I'd be all like: "hold my beer, and watch this. You ready, Christie?"

rhhardin said...

Is anything being done about the wet spot.

AllenS said...

I do believe that the sling-cable apparatus will take care of the wet spot.

ndspinelli said...

AllenS may need a patent attorney soon.

I believe cuddling gets old after 15 minutes or so. I think if you have a mate that ALWAYS wants to cuddle..."Houston we have a problem." Insecure, controlling, etc.

ndspinelli said...

After reading the North Korea thread I don't believe Ken in SC did much cuddling w/ wife numero uno.

The Dude said...

Too bad the Nork was not cuddling with his ex- when they blasted her.

Michael Haz said...

AllenS - Mrs. Haz and I volunteer to be test dummies for your invention. I'll explain it to her after it's rigged up in the bedroom.

Palladian said...

Oh, I misread the title of this post. I thought that someone had invented a technetium cuddling mattress.

Phil 314 said...

Girl not included

Bender said...

Might be a good idea if not for it being made of furnace-like foam that is guaranteed to have you burst into flames because it reflects all the body heat back into you.

Evi L. Bloggerlady said...

Arms do fall asleep that way.

Which is why I sleep standing up.

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