Saturday, August 17, 2013

Icepick on bulletproof whiteboards for professors



From the Baltimore Sun:



Calling "campus violence a reality" to prepare for, the University of Maryland Eastern Shore announced plans Thursday to spend $60,000 on the Clark Kent of teacher supplies: an innocuous-looking white board that can stop bullets.
The high-tech tablet — which hangs on a hook, measures 18 by 20 inches and comes in pink, blue and green — can be used as a personal shield for professors under attack, according to the company that makes it, and a portable writing pad in quieter times.
18" x 20"? I could hide my head and part of my upper body behind that. (I just checked, and I'm about 22" across at the shoulders.) Of course, covering my head and upper torso would be a good thing. If we've learned nothing else from the movies we have learned that it can take days to die from a bullet to the gut.

But the man behind the bullet-resistant white boards envisions an ancient phalanx.
[George] Tunis envisions teachers using the whiteboards to fend off attackers individually or as a group, standing side-by-side to create a wall that could shield evacuating students or to fend off an attacker.
"It's designed to be a last resort and to buy you some extra time," he said.
Yeah, extra time is good. I can see a shooter faced by a phalanx of professors (possibly including wannabe Hoplites from the Classics Department) holding these white boards up in formation, blocking all of 20" of vertical target, max. All he'd have to do is aim low and chop them down like a Ma Deuce through the under-growth in Vietnam. It'd take a committed mad man whole milliseconds to figure this out.

Also from the article:
"It needs to be a great whiteboard and a useful tool so that it doesn't get hidden in the closet," said maker George Tunis. His Worcester County company Hardwire LLC starting out making military armor, then adapted it for the classroom after the tragic shootings last year at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Conn., where 20 children and six adults were killed.
Maybe it's be useful if you're writing answers down and flashing them to the class? I don't know. But we used most of the large blackboards that measured their dimensions in feet when I was a TA in college, and I don't ever remember a professor only using a space that measured that small. So these things aren't even all that practical for a classroom, despite the claims of the manufacturer.

Distressingly, the school in question doesn't seem to have anyone capable of doing a cost-benefit analysis. How many classrooms does the nation have? Tens of thousands? Hundreds of thousands? How many of these classrooms see the kind of random violence where such a device MIGHT have an impact?


These things cost $299 a pop, so they're not cheap. But at least they come in a variety of attractive colors! I'd suggest that they add red to the pink, blue and green currently offered. It would better hide blood spatter and thus be more intimidating to any shooters out there. (See "red coats" for more.) Or perhaps they should be rainbow-colored on the non-writing side, to demonstrate the school's commitment to diversity.


Spending $60,000 on these for this one college in a backwater part of Maryland seems ludicrous. It would be ludicrous for just about any other school as well. (And if there is a school for which this isn't a ludicrous expense, they need to MOVE THE SCHOOL!) Surely there are other things that can be done with the money.


So, can anyone else think of how the school could have better spent the money? Remember that this is a one-time expense (or at least not a regular expense) so hiring an additional security guard is out, as that is an ongoing expense.


What better ideas has everyone got?

Icepick




54 comments:

Icepick said...

Sigh.

If we're learned nothing else from the movies ....

If we'VE, if we'VE! Typos....

Icepick said...

Also, a BMG and an MGB are two different things, although both are fun in proper working order. One's much more useful than that other, however. Which one is useful is something I'll leave up to the individual to decide.

edutcher said...

Why not give them a hoplon? It had an 18" radius and was 5" thick.

Maybe a Roman scutus - it was 3 1/2' high and 2' across.

I'm sure they could include a little abacus for figuring.

deborah said...

Typo fixed, I.

I'm thinking for 60K they could maybe buy some reinforced metal doors to put on closets, for hiding.

The phalanx thing seems ludicrous.

If I were a teacher that worried, I'd by body armor, and definitely pack.

deborah said...

Plus, that teacher doesn't look that comfortable holding it, writing on it, and showing it to the class all at the same time.

It's bigger value would be in an elementary school where younger kids could enjoy using them for 'fun' drawing or doing sums.

Icepick said...

Typo fixed, I.

Thanks. I hate it when I can't edit!

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

Standard issue Wonder Woman bracelets cost about twenty bucks a pair.

And they accessorize nicely!

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

There's a reason why nobody ever tries to shoot up a day care center. See?

rcocean said...

Bullets can quite an impact, so if a female teacher put her "shield" in front of her face, I can see the bullet knocking it our of her hands.

Then, I guess she would have to use her wonder women bracelets.

Why not give every professor a handgun? They can't cost $300 each. And they could be used to intimidate students into doing homework.

virgil xenophon said...

The whole whiteboard bit is a reflection of the extent to which people will go to ignore the obvious defensive solution, i.e., guns. Now it can be a matter for honest debate whether teachers themselves should be armed, or whether a trained security staff and better physical perimeter defense of what kind and to what extent (i.e., should schools ape prisons?) should be deployed, but the point is most in the MSM avoid the subject of guns like Dracula avoids the cross. Remember that horrendus home invasion in Conn a few years ago at that Doctors home where his wife and two female children were raped, killed--burned alive--as the home was set afire to hide the crime, leaving only the Doctor to escape? Well, spurred by this event, ABC Good Morning America did a
special on home safety/security in which they featured every kind of door-lock, alarm system, "safe rooms" etc., known to man. The ONE THING, however, that was conspicuously absent--that they absolutely could not bring themselves to mention--was the subject of guns for home defense. No how, no way, unh, unh. Simply amazing..

virgil xenophon said...

...and they can be used to intimidate students into doing their homework."

Now THAT's a HIGHLY useful
extra!!

The Dude said...

rc - a good handgun can cost far more than $300.

But this isn't about safety, firing back at perps, or any logical defense of the defenseless. It's about feelings.

And wasting taxpayer dollars.

Forget it Jake, it's Bawmer...

Icepick said...

There's a reason why nobody ever tries to shoot up a day care center.

Nice.

Unknown said...

It looks just big enough to be awkward to hold, but small enough to limit it's usefulness.

Unknown said...

Regarding other ideas, I just happened to see this about what is being implemented in our diocesan Catholic schools. Seems like a good idea, even if not completely foolproof.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

I'd like Bagoh's thoughts. Where is he? I'm going through Bagoh comment withdrawal.

XRay said...

A/A, I suspect Bagoh is extremely busy either moving or setting up on that industrial acreage he just bought in LA.

Icepick said...

Seems like a good idea, even if not completely foolproof.

Does everything need to be treated like a prison or a bank vault? Back in high school we used to wander on and off campus all the time, especially for lunch. (Some with permission, some without.) We didn't have a shooting on campus until a few years after I left, when the school had started to look and act more like a prison.

Hell, we used to have a designated smoking area for students!

And the times were actually more violent then, as well. And yet we didn't act like a bunch of terrified bunnies, because we weren't.

The country is losing its balls, along with everything else that is going to Hell.

Unknown said...

I hear you, Icepick, and my high school was like that too. But now I've had the experience as a parent of having a lockdown at my eldest daughter's high school. You have a little one, right? Have you dropped her off at school yet or is she too young?

Not saying I like the safeguards but I see the other side of the fear.

Joe Biden, America's Putin said...

XRay - I hope he's busy or having fun.

---
How about signs that read:
"Gun Zone. Somebody on premises is trained and ready to shoot anyone with the intent to harm."

Instead of the idiotic "gun free zone".

Icepick said...

C Stanley, she's too young (just turned three this summer) and we plan to home school. Not because we fear violence in the schools, but because we fear crappy teaching.

And I understand the fear. I have a nephew who will become a father for the first time in a few months. I'm telling him that he's about to start knowing entirely different kinds of fear. He told me it's already happened - genetic testing and similar tests leave one nervous even if you know the odds are on your side.

So I understand the fear part. But are we going to completely cave in to our fears? It's not like we didn't have mass shootings when I was a kid. We had a courthouse get shot up, a couple of groceries stores, and other cases I've probably forgotten about, and those were all local.

We keep putting up defenses to very improbable events, when the money could be spent on much more likely eventualities. Or even not spent at all. We've completely lost our minds on these matters.

JAL said...

Firearms training for teachers and administrators who co chose and pass screening. And some firearms, ammo and fingerprint safes for quick access. Or allow CCW.

JAL said...

Sixty Grit said...
rc - a good handgun can cost far more than $300.


Of course it can, but there are good handguns which are not Glocks or Sig Sauers.


JAL said...

And even then for $60,000 one could train a bunch of people AND provide a whole bunch of people with a Glock or Sig.

Birches said...

My daughter's school has a rubber barrier that is always covering the door locks. So the classroom doors are always locked, but as long as the barrier is there, the kids can get in and out. If there is ever a need, then the teacher can remove the barrier and lock down the room. I applauded the school's low cost solution to somewhat irrational parental fears.

I choose not to give into the fears. After Newton, I thought about something like that happening at my daughter's school. Yes, it made me sick, but I could just as easily kill my kid driving her to school some day. So I'm not going to live in fear.

rhhardin said...

We lived in boredom when I was in school.

JAL said...

C Stanley said...
It looks just big enough to be awkward to hold, but small enough to limit it's usefulness.


Other than that it's perfect.

edutcher said...

Icepick said...

Seems like a good idea, even if not completely foolproof.

Does everything need to be treated like a prison or a bank vault?


You get the feeling the Lefties want to make everything feel as if we're under siege, so we'll want government all that much more.

Icepick said...

(I'm getting my Jesse Pinkman on....)

Cody Jarrett said...

You get the feeling the Lefties want to make everything feel as if we're under siege, so we'll want government all that much more.

Blind squirrel, meet nut!

rhhardin said...

Iowahawk

Because if there's anything that mass murderers hate, it's algebraic proofs.

Synova said...

Maybe better than nothing.

The idea of anyone using these things in a coordinated way is laughable. Any *notion* what sort of training it took for Roman soldiers to use shields to advance? It would be easier to instruct all teachers to use throwing axes effectively... strap it to the back of the white board...

In practical terms... if I've got two bullets and you've got a bullet proof white board you're dead. Why? Because I defy you to hang on to the thing when a bullet hits it.

It's not going to happen. Not even if it's got good straps and handles on the back.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Because I defy you to hang on to the thing when a bullet hits it.

I made this point to my husband the gun enthusiast and he went ahead and looked up the impact of a 9mm--and we had a good laugh at these imbeciles.

JAL said...

I think this addition to "defensive plans" -- the whiteboards -- illustrates perfectly how out of touch with reality the left is.

Maybe the inventor is just an idealistic liberal who doesn't know much about firearms, but the administrators of the university cannot be permitted to educate themselves about rational solutions?

To problem solve one has to examine the problem and the various solutions. I thought lefty education was all about thinking outside the box. But first it certainly would help if they educated themselves about the problem. Basic physics. Force, velocity, mass.

And as in the ABC special mentioned above ... every option but ...

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

the administrators of the university cannot be permitted to educate themselves about rational solutions

See, in my house we've been having an ongoing conversation about the pros and cons of sending our precious, smart, lovely children off to college in the not too distant future (our eldest is starting seventh grade) and the more I read the more skeptical I get about the whole proposition. After we had the aforementioned guffaw at these dimwits, I said to husband, "Now really--can we please, please once and for all dispense with the silly assumption that college is full of smart people whom we can trust to guide our children into adulthood?"

Icepick said...

In practical terms... if I've got two bullets and you've got a bullet proof white board you're dead. Why? Because I defy you to hang on to the thing when a bullet hits it.

The thing is supposed to absorb the impact and lessen it. Allegedly the kick received from the bullet hitting the board isn't any harder than the kick received by the person firing the gun. But even if true, this makes me wonder how many people holding the boards have fired a pistol and felt that kick, AND the pistol comes with a handle designed for the sole purpose of holding onto the thing even when fired.

Mitch H. said...

Aw, come on, it'll be worth it for the spectacle of dumpy instructors stumbling and shuffling through the no-doubt-required shield-wall drill. Are they going to issue them stun-gun-type electro-shock pila as well?

Icepick said...

I'm surprised no one has mentioned the connection between the school in question and the company. From the article:

Hardwire [the company selling the white boards] first hooked up with UMES in 2004, when a school foundation invested in the company with a $250,000 loan. Later, it granted Hardwire a $500,000 loan, both of which have since been paid back.

Okay, the loans have been paid back, but this still suggests some sort of connection between the two other than merchant and customer.

Icepick said...

Are they going to issue them stun-gun-type electro-shock pila as well?

Come on, Mitch. You know schools are pila-free zones. (Except for the track team, and that doesn't count.)

Icepick said...

Aw, come on, it'll be worth it for the spectacle of dumpy instructors stumbling and shuffling through the no-doubt-required shield-wall drill

But that WOULD make for a great series of YouTube videos - similar in nature to the videos of US drill instructors trying to teach Afghani recruits how to do jumping jacks. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up. It's funny on the one hand, and makes you wonder what we were ever thinking with all that nation-building bullshit.)

Plus, this could all be pitched as a "Team Building" exercise for the faculty and staff. Hmm, I'm starting to sense a business opportunity here....

Dante said...

There are about 4,000 universities and colleges in the country. At 60K per pop, that's $240M. Let's say one hundred university professors will be gunned down over the next 20 years. How many of those would be saved with this device? One in ten? So that's ten professors. $24M per pop. Economically, it doesn't make sense.

Synova said...

I'm not saying it couldn't save some teacher's life. Cover your head and upper torso and hunker down... you maybe don't need to stop more than one bullet and if it's held against you it might not be torn away for a second.

But no one is using it to advance toward the enemy. It's a flat surface and the chances of a bullet hitting it so that it pushes back toward the person holding it instead of to the side is next to zero. I can handle the kick of a .45 and not a terribly big deal, but that's holding it properly with the force lined up with my wrist and forearm and using both hands to control the weapon.

And yes, the sheild-wall drill would be a hoot. :D

On the other hand, I'm also serious about this: http://www.katerno.com/detail.php?s=274849

There was a show on TV the other day about the ax and I wandered past while they were talking about tactical tomahawks. The "training" distributed for university "active shooter" situations says to throw stuff at the shooter... books... chairs...

And that would actually be somewhat useful. (Though not nearly as useful as *shooting* at the "active shooter".) Okay, it's still slightly silly, but attached one of those puppies to the back of the white board.

It's not as though it would make it *less* effective.

rcocean said...

I'd suggest they paint crosses on them. Might be useful in case a vampire or an atheist shows up.

rcocean said...

I'd suggest they paint crosses on them. Might be useful in case a vampire or an atheist shows up.

Synova said...

I don't have a concealed carry permit but I always wonder if I got one if I'd decide to break the law and carry on campus. I think that something would have to happen, you know an "event", because obviously I'm not so worried about it to actually have taken the training yet.

I might write a few letters to editors to the city and campus newspaper arguing for changing the law. Most students aren't old enough to get a concealed carry permit in any case. What are they afraid of? Veterans and seniors and staff?

Icepick said...

I'd suggest they paint crosses on them. Might be useful in case a vampire or an atheist shows up.

Somehow I'm picturing a cringing atheist shouting "Separation of Church and State! SEPARATION OF CHURCH AND STATE!" while retreating backwards with their arms over their eyes!

Icepick said...

What are they afraid of? Veterans and seniors and staff?

Citizens. They prefer subjects and serfs.

deborah said...

Synova, you may not need training if you were in the service.

Synova said...

Deborah... I was in the Air Force. I do believe I *saw* a gun once. :)

Synova said...

Okay... so we spent half a day at basic messing up an m-16 which we then attempted to use to hit a target.

And my shop in the Philippines kept a revolver, gun belt, and box of ammo in a safe.

deborah said...

K :)

Synova said...

:)

I know I joke, but that's because the guys around here were in the Army and stuff. Different deal. Seriously, though, what we were concerned with in the case of "enemy action" was the 5 pound sledge hammer we kept in a drawer. I don't suppose anyone really cared if we didn't survive it, so long as we got all the critical hardware smashed before we died.

deborah said...

Zowie, that's some hi-tech armament, by George.

Security Pro USA said...

The super durable bulletproof Whiteboards.